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i just recently along with most

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americans wrote the government a big fat

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check because that's what life is uh

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nothing is certain except for death in

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taxes

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uh and also the speed of light in a

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vacuum actually now that i think of it

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many universal constants are more

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certain than death in texas but i'm

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getting ahead of myself taxes uh while

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i'm not precisely happy to be rid of my

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money i am in favor of government and

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all that jazz and most of the 16 000

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freaking dollars that i just sent to the

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us government is going to be used to

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decrease suck in some way making sure

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that people who lose their jobs don't

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become immediately homeless education

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for people who wouldn't otherwise be

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educated and healthcare for people who

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otherwise couldn't afford it all of

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these fantastic things but when it comes

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right down to it not a lot of the money

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that i just gave my government is going

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to be used to do cool stuff don't get me

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wrong i'm totally in favor of reducing

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suck but like my grandfather always said

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using the great and awesome power of the

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united states government to decrease

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suck without ever increasing awesome is

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a little bit like using the starship

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enterprise as an interstellar shipping

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barge but for people like me i am happy

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to announce that deep in the budget

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there are a few percentage points

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dedicated to increasing awesome for

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example the money that the united states

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government spends on science and

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technology this is the graphical

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representation of the united states

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budget it's divided up and you might

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think this this this maybe some of these

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things are the science no no the science

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is down that little thing down there and

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less than half of that is my very

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favorite government agency nasa now if i

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magically shrunk the entire united

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states budget into a dollar and then

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split that dollar into 100 pennies i

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still could not show you nasa's relative

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budget because it would be smaller than

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one half of a penny but despite that

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fact it still is a relatively large

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amount of money about 18 billion and

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this begs the question what is nasa

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doing with all that money besides

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maintaining a five-bedroom house in

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outer space that has been constantly

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inhabited for over 10 years a space

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station that provides our first

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permanent foothold in space and a

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literal and scientific and metaphorical

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stepping-off point into the exploration

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of the rest of the solar system a place

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where so much science is done that i

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literally cannot even show you the names

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of all the studies that have been done

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there besides launching what amounts to

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pretty much a remote controlled suv onto

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the surface of mars with 10 times the

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scientific payload of any interplanetary

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mission so far a remote-controlled

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laboratory that will help answer

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questions about mars including whether

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it once harvard life and help prepare us

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for manned exploration of the red planet

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besides creating a worthy successor to

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the hubble space telescope allowing

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astronomers to see further than it had

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ever hoped to see before allowing

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humanity a first glimpse at the very

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origins of the universe a telescope that

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can see 13.4 billion years into the past

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besides inviting the private sector into

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the space industry offering them patents

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on technologies developed for nasa and

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fostering the growth of an entirely new

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sector of the economy besides placing

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the first artificial satellite around

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mercury besides making air travel faster

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and safer and more environmentally

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friendly besides building the first

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telescope capable of capturing high

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high-resolution x-ray images besides

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adding three more climate monitoring

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satellites to the already existing fleet

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that will help us understand our

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changing climate and how to react to

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global climate change besides creating

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frameworks and technologies and

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challenges that will help inspire the

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next generation of engineers and

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mathematicians and scientists besides

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identifying thousands of planets outside

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of our solar system many of them

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apparently earth-like with liquid water

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besides launching the final two space

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shuttle missions while simultaneously

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developing a new multi-purpose crew

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vehicle capable of visiting not just the

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orbit of the earth but possibly the moon

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and mars and venus and beyond and

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besides being the best chance that we

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have of answering fundamental questions

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about ourselves and our place in the

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universe besides that i guess nasa

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doesn't do much with that 0.45

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of our tax dollars i'm happy to give my

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money to nasa because i want my

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government to be doing awesome things i

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believe in my country's ability to be

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awesome i'm afraid that more and more

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we're just focusing on maintenance and

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not on the amazing things that we can do

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when we combine our efforts and that

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really is what government is about so

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thank you to nasa for doing such great

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awesome and exciting things with our

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money it's strange to say this but i can